I believe I had mentioned that my oncologist and I had decided to embark upon participation in a phase 1 clinical trial for my cancer (the particulars can be found at this link for those interested: A First in Man Trial for Patients With Cancer.) In preparation for/to determine if I was physically eligible to participate I had a series of tests done this past Wednesday (lab work, ECG, chest x-ray, CT scan, PT scan- a lot of radiation!) I received the results earlier today. The lab work showed some increase in liver function #'s as well as CEA but not significantly changed from the previous sets of labs done about a month ago, and the increases were consistent with having been off of treatment for a month+ (to participate in a trial they also have to let previous meds completely exit the body, hence my month of non-treatment.) My oncologist didn't seems especially concerned with the #'s, again, given my time off from treatment as well as trending we had seen, and the fact that this has been going on for almost three years now. Somewhat more troubling were the results of the x-ray and scans; the x-ray indicated some- small- nodules within my lungs, which was/is something new. The CT scan showed that the existing tumors on my liver had increased somewhat in size (in and of itself not especially worrisome, again, due to time off from treatment, trending, and how far along I am into all of this) but also showed a tumor on my spleen, which is something else new and previously undetected. The PT scan confirmed that the areas on both my liver and spleen where the tumors were seen are more metabolically active than other areas (it didn't detect that re. the lungs, which could indicate that they may not be cancerous, or are simply so small as to not show up.) None of these findings affect my eligibility for the trial; I begin that this coming Wednesday. What they do indicate is that things do appear to be progressing, which obviously isn't great news. While concerned my oncologist believes that, given where I am so far (organ function hasn't been adversely impacted yet) and how I'm feeling overall (still damn good!) we ought to be able to manage things for awhile yet- several months at least- but likely not years (plural.) She didn't give me the equivalent of the two-minute warning!
Honestly, I was anticipating worse news than I received. I've had some aches (nagging more than limiting) recently and was concerned that there might be massive spread, organ failure, who knows what. And as I was telling a good friend just this morning, for me the worst part is the not knowing, the waiting, the uncertainty; good or not-so-good I can manage and deal, I can handle that, but being left hanging, uncertainty, those things drive me batshit crazy, so I was appreciative that my onc gave me the results in a timely manner.
So I move on. I'll see what, if any, benefits accrue from the investigational drug I'll be starting next week. There are still one or two things beyond that to go to as well. The damnedest thing is, minor aches aside, how well I still feel physically- hit the treadmill for a run this am, got back from the gym a little while ago, have good energy, appetite, etc... And I'm fully aware that there are a LOT of people who have health issues- hell, issues of all sorts- to deal with in their lives, many of them far more challenging than anything on my plate. I have admiration for and gain strength from them, seeing how they deal, and it fills me with gratitude that my issues are manageable.
And damn... will this winter ever end?! It has been way too cold for way too long- I want a cold drink (or several!) on a hot beach!
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