Dammit.
Over the last two months or so I've noticed that my running and cardio workouts have been a helluva lot more difficult to push thru and complete, particularly with the same pace and/or intensity that I had been doing. I thought some of it might just have been the winter weather and all getting to me, or simply that I was slacking off and needed to step it up a bit again. I found out the culprit this week. Fortunately it is not the cancer itself that was/is causing it but it is a result of my current treatment regimen. Basically, and without getting too technical, my red cell counts have decreased markedly since late January, which correlates exactly with when I started this current regimen (irinotecan added to cetuximab.) Normal levels of two relevant indicators (trust me on the numbers) are between 14.0-18.0 for one, 40-52 for the other; throughout my treatment my counts have been well within those ranges; as recently as 1/23/13 (measured just before beginning this current regimen) they were 14.6 and 44 respectively. As of this past Wednesday they were 11.8 and 33.7 respectively. It is similar to anemia, in fact it is sometimes called chemo-induced anemia. The reason it has affected my running and cardio endurance is that it causes less oxygen to be available to cells within the body, which reduces efficiency aerobically. I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do to improve this. I eat a healthy and well-rounded diet, I take numerous supplements (dietary and energy), etc... And the red cell counts are not low enough where they require any transfusions or that they affect my treatment. Nor does it affect my daily activity and such; it's not like I'm bed-ridden or can't get out of my way or those sorts of things- overall my energy is ok. And working out my lifts are still good but again it is the cardio work, and my morning runs, which are suffering. It makes me feel like a quitter, like I'm giving in. And that is very, very frustrating.
I realize that effectively treating the cancer, keeping it stable/at bay, is the most important thing. My oncologist wants to get as much benefit out of this current regimen as we can while it still has some effect, which makes sense. Hopefully if/when we need to make a change that change will have less impact upon my red counts, that they will increase and my aerobic endurance will follow suit. I'm not complaining; for being close to two years in and to have this have been (so far) the worst effect, well, that's not bad, considering... But it is frustrating to not be able to accomplish what I previously had been able to. Perhaps I need to motivate myself harder/work harder to push on thru.
Happy Easter!
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
3.14.13
Some Dos and Donts picked up over the years. Nothing especially original or earth-shattering, and I imagine most people reading this have already figured most of them out. But maybe one or two will strike a chord; Lord knows it's taken me long enough to figure 'em out. Anyone who wishes to, feel free to add your own!
(I was going to say Do sign Wes Welker, but... Dammit.)
Don't be an asshole. Should go without saying. And I mean a real asshole, not just putting up a front as one (B. Bobby Badd.) I've been a real one, and it doesn't get you anywhere. Don't do it.
Do smile. People like it.
Do be sincere. Don't be pretentious. (Hopefully this blog has come off more as the former and less as the latter.)
Do be responsible. Don't be risk-averse. Responsible is good, honoring commitments and obligations and such is good. Being bound by that responsibility to the point of avoiding any and all risks is not good; it limits opportunities for learning, growth, possible success, and fulfillment.
Similarly, don't be afraid to make mistakes. Do learn from them. Too often I've tried to avoid mistakes and, as often, when I've made them I haven't learned from them. Or learned too late.
Do believe in something. Be it a cause, a philosophy, a faith, something. And do make sure that it is deserving of that belief.
Don't be selfish. Do be true to yourself. There is a difference. Life should never be only about us, what's in it for us, what makes us alone happy. It should be about others as well as ourselves. But if we're not true to ourselves, our true values, beliefs, interests, etc... we're never going to be truly happy. By not doing so we make ourselves miserable and, more often than not, we make those around us miserable as well. Whether it's William Shakespeare's To thine own self be true... or Lionel Richie's Everybody wants me to be what they want me to be... we're seldom happy when we try to fake it.
Don't listen to My Way before an oncologist appointment!
Do find something to be enthusiastic about. Whether it is a relationship, a sport or fitness activity of some sort, a team (Go Pats!) art, literature, a cause, hell, even a TV show (do make sure it's a good one!) Something that fires you up.
Whenever possible, do order linguica pizza.
Don't stop learning.
Do say please and thank you. Small words but they mean a lot.
Do tip. Ideally well. Servers are often over-worked and underpaid; a good tip can make their shift. (And you never know what will end up in your food or drink if you are known as a bad tipper!)
Do step outside of your comfort zone. It's something I haven't done often enough yet whenever I have the results have always been positive.
Don't take important things- health, wealth, opportunities, and most importantly people- for granted. We never know when they will be lost.
Don't stop believin' (gratuitous Journey reference!)
(I was going to say Do sign Wes Welker, but... Dammit.)
Don't be an asshole. Should go without saying. And I mean a real asshole, not just putting up a front as one (B. Bobby Badd.) I've been a real one, and it doesn't get you anywhere. Don't do it.
Do smile. People like it.
Do be sincere. Don't be pretentious. (Hopefully this blog has come off more as the former and less as the latter.)
Do be responsible. Don't be risk-averse. Responsible is good, honoring commitments and obligations and such is good. Being bound by that responsibility to the point of avoiding any and all risks is not good; it limits opportunities for learning, growth, possible success, and fulfillment.
Similarly, don't be afraid to make mistakes. Do learn from them. Too often I've tried to avoid mistakes and, as often, when I've made them I haven't learned from them. Or learned too late.
Do believe in something. Be it a cause, a philosophy, a faith, something. And do make sure that it is deserving of that belief.
Don't be selfish. Do be true to yourself. There is a difference. Life should never be only about us, what's in it for us, what makes us alone happy. It should be about others as well as ourselves. But if we're not true to ourselves, our true values, beliefs, interests, etc... we're never going to be truly happy. By not doing so we make ourselves miserable and, more often than not, we make those around us miserable as well. Whether it's William Shakespeare's To thine own self be true... or Lionel Richie's Everybody wants me to be what they want me to be... we're seldom happy when we try to fake it.
Don't listen to My Way before an oncologist appointment!
Do find something to be enthusiastic about. Whether it is a relationship, a sport or fitness activity of some sort, a team (Go Pats!) art, literature, a cause, hell, even a TV show (do make sure it's a good one!) Something that fires you up.
Whenever possible, do order linguica pizza.
Don't stop learning.
Do say please and thank you. Small words but they mean a lot.
Do tip. Ideally well. Servers are often over-worked and underpaid; a good tip can make their shift. (And you never know what will end up in your food or drink if you are known as a bad tipper!)
Do step outside of your comfort zone. It's something I haven't done often enough yet whenever I have the results have always been positive.
Don't take important things- health, wealth, opportunities, and most importantly people- for granted. We never know when they will be lost.
Don't stop believin' (gratuitous Journey reference!)
Thursday, March 7, 2013
3.07.13
Catching up...
I've had a few people ask why I haven't kept in better touch, etc... regarding "this." Well, there's not a whole lot new going on with it right now, things still seem to be status quo for now, which overall is good (I do have yet another CT scan scheduled for later this month- I'm going to be glowing in the dark pretty soon- so we'll see what things are looking like inside.) Plus after awhile this cancer stuff gets boring; it's boring for me, it has to be boring for others. No one wants to come across as bothersome or a self-absorbed pain in the ass. And where things still seem to be status quo there haven't been any especially new insights or thoughts to share; just keep trying to be a positive, and hopefully a better, person each day. Still feeling well, still doing any/everything that I have been. No complaints.
Beyond that just taking care of business. I'll be glad to see spring this year, not the best of winters, pretty damn windy and cold, and snow the past month or so (including today dammit.) I've never been a skating/skiing/snowboarding enthusiast (give me basketball in a warm, dry gym) and I don't need cold either (one January spent in an unheated- and condemned- Mu was enough. Closing time at The Pub was a necessity that month... but it did allow me the title of The Last Man To Live In The Mu, 14 Elm St. Edition.)
And to think some people leave Florida for this...
I've had a few people ask why I haven't kept in better touch, etc... regarding "this." Well, there's not a whole lot new going on with it right now, things still seem to be status quo for now, which overall is good (I do have yet another CT scan scheduled for later this month- I'm going to be glowing in the dark pretty soon- so we'll see what things are looking like inside.) Plus after awhile this cancer stuff gets boring; it's boring for me, it has to be boring for others. No one wants to come across as bothersome or a self-absorbed pain in the ass. And where things still seem to be status quo there haven't been any especially new insights or thoughts to share; just keep trying to be a positive, and hopefully a better, person each day. Still feeling well, still doing any/everything that I have been. No complaints.
Beyond that just taking care of business. I'll be glad to see spring this year, not the best of winters, pretty damn windy and cold, and snow the past month or so (including today dammit.) I've never been a skating/skiing/snowboarding enthusiast (give me basketball in a warm, dry gym) and I don't need cold either (one January spent in an unheated- and condemned- Mu was enough. Closing time at The Pub was a necessity that month... but it did allow me the title of The Last Man To Live In The Mu, 14 Elm St. Edition.)
And to think some people leave Florida for this...
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