4.26.12

(I hope my postings don't read like Travis Bickle's diary in Taxi Driver!)

Recently I was reading some material on colon cancer (self-absorbed reading, I know- I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention... there's one!) and one of the items I came across was the five-year survival rates for the various stages of the disease. (Note: colon cancer is a relatively treatable and curable disease if detected early enough. However, many of the early symptoms are often difficult to detect, or even notice, absent appropriate testing. I had felt fine until the sudden onset of symptoms: You're only as healthy as you feel... Damn, there's two!) Many of the rates were relatively encouraging, relatively good... until I came across those for stage 4, my stage. For stage 4 the five-year survival rate is eight percent, meaning only eight percent of those diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer survive five years after diagnosis. While my oncologists had already discussed the median prognosis and all with me last year this knowledge nevertheless did bum me out for a few days. Until I had the enlightening- for me- realization that someone has to make up that eight percent; why the hell not me?! I do have some things working in my favor- I'm considerably younger than many colon cancer patients (age alone would skew the mortality rates somewhat higher.) Apart from the cancer I have no other/underlying health issues; except for the cancer itself I'm healthy. I maintain a pretty clean and healthy diet, I exercise, and I'm in pretty good shape physically. Just as importantly I have some truly outstanding and committed people working on my behalf, both at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (where I receive treatment) as well as at Fenway Health (affiliated with BIDMC) where I receive my primary care (my sister and her husband also receive their primary care at Fenway. Good people.) And as I posted awhile back, one-time Presidential candidate Herman Cain was diagnosed with almost my exact same condition back in 2006, and he's still alive and kicking. Again- someone has to make up that eight percent, why shouldn't I be one of 'em?

None of this is to suggest that I'm not aware of the odds nor is it to suggest that I'm putting things off, figuring I have a slew of time to do them. It's important to live in the moment, in the now. None of us know when those may be taken away. What the above does hopefully suggest for me is that there is the possibility of more moments, more nows, than I may have anticipated and that, with the continued exemplary care from my health care team, my own efforts, and perhaps my will, those moments and nows may extend further.
(I'm tempted to say My whole life is pointed in one direction...  but anymore Taxi Driver quotes might be a little too creepy!)