I've had a few people recently suggest that I look at my illness and all as "living with cancer" vs. "dying from cancer." Granted, while in some ways it is simply semantics there is also a significant difference between the two; moving on and forward with and continuing one's life as fully as possible as opposed to resigning oneself to one's fate and simply awaiting it's arrival. Ultimately the end result will be the same (as it will be for everyone, whether they have a serious illness or not) so it would seem better to, as much as possible, making that time more enjoyable, more rewarding, more fulfilling, to try and live as full and normal a life as one can. It's not about throwing all cautions to the winds or being a "free spirit" (two things I've never been accused of!) but trying to get as much out of and just appreciating each day and the people in it as possible, what some refer to as "living in the moment."
Apparently I'm doing well, considering. Before my most recent treatment session a key blood marker that the oncologists check (CEA; it gives them a decent idea of, take your pick, the progression of the cancer and/or the efficacy of treatment without having to do a CT or other scan) was 62. Just prior to starting treatment back the beginning of August it was 960, so it's currently about 16 times less than it was three months ago. (Ideally, in a healthy adult it should be at/near zero, but... ) And again, as importantly I feel well, healthy, and energetic and don't seem to be suffering any seriously adverse side effects from the treatment thus far (apart from the sensitivity to cold that I've mentioned... and it's frustrating because I've never been sensitive to cold in the past- hell, I lived in this lovely condemned building while in college-
but the recent colder weather has been uncomfortable for my early morning runs. Whaddya gonna do...) My doctors seem pleased with the results, as have I.
