12.29.13

A few thoughts as the year winds down... I have a lot to be grateful and thankful for; first and foremost, that I'm still here. The beginning of this year I wasn't certain if I'd still be around, let alone still feeling healthy and well; all a credit to the incredible knowledge and expertise my medical people have expended on my behalf. I cannot thank them enough.

While there are some areas in my life where I haven't experienced or achieved all that I would have liked to, one area in which I've always and truly been blessed- and I know I've written this before- is to be surrounded by so many great people, from all of my walks of life. I've never been an especially sentimental person but it bears repeating on my part because I truly appreciate, and am very humbled by, my associations and friendships with so many good, solid, caring people- honestly, more than I've often deserved. Particularly nice has been reconnecting with so many people from Easton; I've kept good contact with friends from college over the years but, apart from a few of The Boys, I hadn't had much contact with a lot of Easton folks for a long time, to the point that I'm surprised people remembered me. It's been heartening, and humbling, to reconnect with such good people. There are many important things in life, but I truly believe that they all start with people. Any material success, or happiness, or whatever else we achieve, if we don't have good people to share those things with, how successful, how fulfilled, are we?

One area I am frustrated with is/are my workouts. In my mind I often still feel like I'm 18 (or at least 30!) and I get frustrated that I cannot do what I did at 18, or even 40. My running mileage and times are both down, I can't lift nearly as much weight as I once did, cardio workouts are more difficult; I do what I can but damn, it is frustrating. I don't know if it's from the cancer, cumulative effects of the chemo, being in my later 40's, or simply that I need to push myself harder but it frustrates the living hell out of me that I'm not doing what I feel I should be capable of doing.

I don't know what 2014 holds. This May will mark three years since my cancer odyssey began. It doesn't dominate my thoughts 24/7 but in the back of my mind I am aware that I'm on the clock. I feel well now; how well I'm feeling 8-10 months from now, well, that remains to be seen. As I mentioned above I have some truly dedicated and talented people working on my behalf; they know their stuff. I still have things that I want and need to do. I'm not a New Years Resolution kind of person but I probably could stand to live my life with a little more passion, a little more urgency, take more- wholesome- risks, take on more challenges.
Hold me to that.

Best wishes for a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2014!