5.15.12

A bit of an observation/perspective entry...

I was having a discussion with a friend recently and we got on to the topic of things people did as kids, teens, etc... (I think it came up out of the reports about Mitt Romney allegedly teasing a fellow student back when he was in high school; to be fair and balanced there are accounts of President Obama engaging in less-than-admirable conduct when young as well. Neither of these are particularly relevant to issues such as: the economy, government deficits and debt, tax policy, healthcare policy, foreign policy, and more, but such is the state of much of the media today.) I made the point that many teenagers often do stupid, unthinking things, and that most learn from them and change as they mature, to which he said he doesn't know much about what kids who did those then are like now (he's been away from Easton for quite awhile.) I countered that likely some of the mature, responsible adults he has met over the years were perhaps not quite so mature and responsible when younger, and to maybe take that into consideration when, um, considering folks he did know from back then. And it's true; many people we meet in the post high school/post-college world, we don't know what they were like when younger. We generally accept them as they are now, not as what they may have been.

And it got me thinking about what I was sometimes like when younger, how I treated people, and also how people treated me. By and large I believe I was fairly unassuming, quiet even; for the most part if I wasn't especially friendly to a lot of people neither do I think I was particularly mean to many either- chalk it up to insecurity, immaturity, probably both. But occasionally I'm sure- I know- that I treated people poorly, disrespectfully, usually with alcohol playing some sort of supporting role. I don't believe I ever bullied anyone; I don't recall doing so, and I certainly hope that I did not (alcohol can make memories hazy sometimes.) And occasionally I was on the receiving end as well, catching shit, particularly from some of Easton's zoofs (a classic Eastonism!) It was just kids being kids; I never felt bullied. Similarly, in college, on those rare occasions when I had a few (yeah right) I sometimes was less-than-gentlemanly toward fellow students, particularly of the female persuasion (again, I believe as a result of insecurity and immaturity fueled with alcohol. And I wonder why I didn't do better with the ladies while in college... tho' somehow it worked for Bob Floyd.) Thankfully, I believe that I've- reasonably- matured.

Some of this is obviously a result of pondering my mortality. I've mentioned in prior posts that I know that I was an a**hole at times and looking back obviously regret being so (tho' Mimi Meade commented awhile back that she never thought of me as an a**hole- thanks, Mimi!)  I'd like to think that, whether on the giving or receiving end, hopefully we can accept us for who we are now, and not harbor grudges, petty or even real, from years, decades past. I don't harbor any. None of us can change our pasts, undo some of the less-savory things we may have said or done. The best we can do is try to make amends if/as possible, learn from our misdeeds, be tolerant and forgiving of the misdeeds others may have done to us, and to accept people as they are now. Because we've all done thoughtless things at one time or another.